A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don’t know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, “I know what we’ll do. … Read more
After 10 years, a mother can no longer deny that her child does not look like her or her husband, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents. Wife: “Honey, I have something very serious to tell you. “ Husband: “What’s up?” Wife: … Read more
A kid was a very good painter. Once a neighbor broke her nails while trying to pick-up a $100 bill lying on the ground because it looked so real. She called the kid’s father and complained about the kid. The father said, “That’s nothing. My son drew a switch on the power socket yesterday and … Read more
A lawyer was talking to his teenage son about his future career. “Why do you want to be a doctor instead of a lawyer?” he asked. “What’s wrong with lawyers?” “Well, Dad, “explained the boy, “I really want to help people. And when was the last time you heard anybody stand up in a crowd … Read more
A little boy said he wanted a baby brother. His Dad smiled and suggested he pray for one. The boy prayed earnestly, night after night, but after a couple weeks with no baby brother, he didn’t bother to ask anymore. A few months later Dad said Mom was in the hospital and had a surprise. … Read more
A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?” The doctor answered, “Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy … Read more
Two explorers, camped in the heart of the African jungle, were discussing their expedition. “I came here, “said one, “because the urge to travel was in my blood. City life bored me, and the smell of exhaust fumes on the highways made me sick. I wanted to see the sunrise over new horizons and hear … Read more
A newlywed couple wanted to invite their friends over for a steak and mushroom dinner. The wife had all the ingredients except the mushrooms. The husband said, “There are plenty of mushrooms growing in the backyard. “ “Are you sure?” said the wife. “They could be poisonous?” The husband replied, “I will give one to … Read more
An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but didn’t quite make it. She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn. Later, the father received a bill, listing “Delivery Room Fee: $400. “ He wrote to the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn. After a week … Read more
One cold December day, a French tourist in Scotland stopped at a farm cottage. He told the farmer’s wife he was freezing to death, and was invited to come in and warm himself at the hearth. Once inside the house, he complained of being thirsty. The woman handed him an enormous white crockery mug filled … Read more