Doctor Jokes

Doctor: Are you still taking the cough medicine I gave you? Patient: No, I tasted it and decided I’d rather have the cough. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

An anesthesiologist has a stock answer to the usual question asked by pre-surgical patients: “How much will the anesthesia cost?” “Oh, only $100. 00. $1. 00 to go to sleep and $99. 00 for waking up. Most patients buy the whole package. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more

Patient: Doctor, I think I’m suffering from lack of memory. Doctor: How long have you had this problem? Patient: What problem is that? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Girl visits her doctor and tells him she has a terrible discharge. “Ok, take your knickers off and let’s check it out, “he says. She drops her knickers and the doctor has a feel around. He says “How does that feel? “ She says “Absolutely wonderful but the discharge is from my ear”. This joke … Read more

Its pissing down and this midget goes to the doctors and says “Every time it rains my fanny gets sore”. He tells her to hop onto the examining couch. He bends over and looks up her skirt. “I see the problem, “he says. And taking a pair of scissors shoves them up her skirt. Snip … Read more

Two doctors in practice in a small town clinic in Bluebell had to hire a new nurse when the one they had won the lottery and quit. They interviewed Nurse Nancy and decided to hire her. She had only worked two days when one doctor called the other to his office and said that they … Read more

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dog. Doctor: Lie down on the couch and I’ll examine you. Patient: I can’t, I’m not allowed on the furniture. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well, “said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty … Read more

Doctor: Well, it looks like you’re pregnant. Woman: Oh my God, I’m pregnant?! Doctor: No, it just looks like you are. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

After surgery, the doctor said to the patient, “I am sorry, but I forgot a pair of scissors inside you. I need to… “ The patient quickly responded, “Oh don’t bother, doctor! If it is because of that, just tell me how much it cost and I will pay you back. “ This joke is … Read more