Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. “Listen to this, “she said. “There’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. “ “Hmmm, “her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. … Read more
A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday. Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex. “ “But you are not wearing any of those things, “replied the artist. “I know, “she said. “It’s in case I die before my husband. … Read more
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, “I’m a salesman. What about you?” “I’m a hit man for the mob, “replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first … Read more
Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building — a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself. Shirley says, “Sophie, you know I’m shy. Why don’t you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He … Read more
A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?” “We don’t have any money for food, “the poor man replied. “We have to eat … Read more
Husband admiring his body in the mirror says to wife “Look at that, 14 stones of pure dynamite !” Wife replies “yeah, shame about the 2 inch fuse… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A divorce court judge said to the husband, “Mr Gregory,I have reviewed this case very carefully and I’ve decided to give your wife $800 a week. “ “That’s very fair,your honor, “he replied. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself. “ This joke is included in the Black … Read more
A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $200, she exclaims, “I don’t have that kind of money, but I’ll do anything to get a message to my mother. “ He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back … Read more
A man farts in bed next to his wife. His wife asks, “What in the world was that?” He replies, “Touchdown. I’m winning, seven nothing. “ She decides to get even, so she lets one loose. He yells at her, “What was that?” She replies, “Touchdown, tie score. “ He wants to get her back, … Read more