An Irishman by the name of O’Mally proposed to his girl on St. Patrick’s Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took one look at it and saw it wasn’t real. The young lass, on learning it wasn’t real, returned … Read more
Joseanne had wanted new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed in her kitchen. A few days later, a neighbor came over to … Read more
Wife: “Eleanor Roosevelt said “intelligent people are those with ideas”. Husband: “That sounds like me. I always have many ideas!” Wife: “Honey, I don’t think Mrs. Roosevelt was thinking about ideas that start out with, ‘“Hey guys, just watch this!’ “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more
A man went on a dating website, hoping to find a wife. In his profile description he wrote, “Looking for a woman that is smart, pretty, funny, a good cook, organized at home, and has a bass boat!” He then paused, gave it some more thought, and added, “To be considered, please include a picture … Read more
A guy had the courage,but not the skills to tackle home-repair projects. His garage was littered with the pieces of a lawn mower he once tried to fix. One day his wife found him in the living room, attacking the vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver. “I can’t get this thing to cooperate!” he exclaimed. His … Read more
Wife to husband: “Did you like supper?” Trying to be polite, the husband says, “Yes. “ The wife says, “I was just wondering, because when I gave some to the cats they tried to bury it. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two friends are in the living room. The wife of one of them is in the kitchen. “Sweetheart, please, can you hand us the bottle of whisky?” he says. And then, again, “Sweetheart, and two glasses please?” The other man stares at him and says, “My gosh, how long have you been married?” “Thirty years. … Read more
A guy was gazing at the stars through his binoculars when his wife came out in a new dress. She asked if it made her hips look smaller. He paused for a second, turned his binoculars around, and then looked at her. “I’ve got some good news honey, you’ve never looked better. “ This joke … Read more
A twice married and divorced well-to-do business man named Ralph felt he finally found his soulmate in a woman half his age. Dorothy, his new wife, was pretty, dirty blond hair, and not all that bright, but Ralph didn’t care. He would do anything to make her happy, and on Dorothy’s birthday he called her … Read more
Stan was tired from fishing all morning , so he went in for a nap . His wife ,Joyce ,took the boat out onto the lake and sat in it reading a book . After about half an hour , the sheriff pulled alongside in his motor-boat ‘“Ma’am “he said , “I am sorry but … Read more