Family Jokes
The Dozen Roses – Nice Plant
“That’s a nice plant, “said a woman at the florist’s shop, pointing to the flower I was buying. “Yeah, my wife and I had an argument, “I admitted. “I was going to buy her a dozen roses, but I don’t think she’s that mad at me. “ This joke is included in the Black Book … Read more
Judge Filed Newlyweds
Two newlyweds quickly realized their marriage wasn’t working and filed for a divorce. The judge asked them what the problem was. The husband replied, “In the five weeks that we’ve been together, we haven’t been able to agree on a single thing. “ The judge turned to the wife, “Have you anything to say?” She … Read more
Pearl Necklace
Wife: “Last night I had a dream that you bought me a pearl necklace. “ Husband: “Wow, that’s great! Tonight when you go to sleep, you can put it on. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
You’ve Worn
The young bride’s mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. “Never let your husband see you in the nude, “she advised. “You should always wear something. “ “Yes, mother, “replied the obedient girl. Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire … Read more
Heart Attack
Two women met in heaven who were previous acquaintances on earth. One said, “I can’t believe you’re here so soon, what happened?” She exclaimed, “I froze to death!” The other said, “That’s terrible, how’d it happen?” “Well I started shivering uncontrollably, fell asleep and here I am!” Then she asked how her friend died. She … Read more
Hundred Letters
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted. “ Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing… “You can have mine!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Question Usually Honey
Husband: “Honey, why do you usually answer me back with a question when I ask you a question?” Wife: “Is that what I do?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Exact Words
An old woman goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, “Perhaps, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. “ The old woman says without … Read more
Tarot Reader’s Gaze
A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: “There is no easy way to say this so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a … Read more