A man called home to his wife and said, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for … Read more
A man and a woman meet at a bar one day and are getting along really well. They decide to go back to the woman’s house where they engage in passionate love making. The woman suddenly cocks her ear and says, “Quick, my husband just got home, go hide in the bathroom!” So the man … Read more
On the morning of her birthday, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace. What do you think it means?” “Maybe you’ll find out tonight, “he said mysteriously. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. She ripped off the … Read more
A husband and wife had a fight. Wife called her mom: “He fought with me again, I am coming to stay with you. “ Mom: “No dear, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and leaned her … Read more
A couple was invited to a swanky Halloween party. The day of the party the wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was … Read more
A couple arrived at the boarding gate just in time to see their plane taking off. The husband was angry to have missed the plane. “If you weren’t so slow in getting ready, “he complained to his wife, “we wouldn’t have missed the plane. “ “And if you wouldn’t have rushed me, we wouldn’t have … Read more
A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text, “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!” The … Read more
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Finch became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous young blonde woman. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Finch, and said, “That will teach you to pinch!” Bewildered, Mr. Finch was halfway to the … Read more
One day these two fine southern ladies were sittin’ on the front porch having some iced tea. One of the women sticks out her hand for the other woman to see, and in her long southern drawl says “Look at this ring my husband gave me. Isn’t it nice?” To which the other woman replies, … Read more