A customer at the counter of a garden ornament shop said to the cashier, “Give me four of those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of those sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandmas in bloomers. “ The cashier replied, “That’ll be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten for the flamingos, six for the … Read more
A man walks into his local butcher’s shop and complains about the leg of lamb that he had previously bought. “When I cooked it the joint had shrunk so much it went from 12 inches long to only 4-inches. “ The butcher said to the man “That’s funny, my wife knitted me a sweater and … Read more
Wife: “I’m leaving you. “ Husband: “Is it because I act like I know everything?” Wife: “Yes. “ Husband: “I knew it. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, “What are you doing?” “There, “said the wife, “didn’t I tell you he was stupid?” This joke is included … Read more
A husband and wife went to visit a ranch while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses asked the woman if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked him what the difference was. The cowboy told her that one had a horn and one didn’t. “Well, “she replied, “the saddle without the … Read more
A young guy at a bar: “Hey, bartender. Pour me a cold one. “ “Hey, go on, kid, you wanna get me in trouble?” “Maybe later. Right now I just wanna have a beer. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A woman was sleeping in her bed when her husband crashed through the front door at 3 am and woke her up. He staggered and tried to get up the stairs, “What are you doing?” she shouted. The husband replied “I’m trying to get a gallon of beer up the stairs” “Leave it down there” … Read more
Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bill looks around the … Read more
One evening Jim was walking through a rather seedy section of town, when a bum walked up to him and asked Jim for two dollars. Jim asked him, “Will you buy booze?” The bum replied, “No. “ Then Jim asked, “Will you gamble it away?” The bum said, “No. “ After giving the bum the … Read more
This guy was drinking at the bar counter. Every time he took a drink he would pull something from his pocket and look at it. Eventually the curiosity of the bartender got the better of him and he asked the guy what he was looking at. The guy replied: I’ve got a picture of my … Read more