Food Jokes

Group Meets Again

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A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the “Restaurant am Fluss” because the waitresses there have low cut blouses and nice breasts. 10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they … Read more

Quite Understandable Nods

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Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. “I just can’t stand my mother-in-law, “sighs one. “That’s quite understandable, “nods the other one, “Why don’t you just have the potatoes with the gravy?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more

Sure Lady Which

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A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting … Read more

Sheik Explains

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A Rolls Royce pulls up to an expensive restaurant. A sheik emerges, followed by a harem of women and a rooster. After ordering for himself and his harem, the sheik requests a basket of apples for the rooster. The rooster proceeds to eat three baskets of apples. The waiter asks the sheik about the voracious … Read more

Women Instead

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A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women – a blonde, a brunette, … Read more

Alligator Johnny He’s

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So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma’s kitchen. “Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” … Read more

Bewildered Salesman

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A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door. Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet. “Madam, if I could not … Read more

Strawberries Answered

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Little Johnny was playing in his yard when his next door neighbor drove by pulling a trailer. He asked what the neighbor had in the trailer. “Manure, “the neighbor replied. “What are you going to do with it?” asked Little Johnny “Put it on my strawberries, “answered the farmer. Little Johnny replied, “You ought to … Read more

Row Please

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A dietician was once addressing a large audience during a lecture. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that … Read more