There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He … Read more
The disgruntled diner summoned his waiter to the table, complaining, “My oyster stew doesn’t have any oysters in it. ““Well, if that bothers you, then you better skip dessert, “replied the waiter. “It’s an Angel food cake. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg. The farmer said, “That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw. “ “So why does he have a wooden leg?” the tourist asked. “One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up. … Read more
An elderly couple went to breakfast at a restaurant where the Senior Special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1. 99. “Sounds good, “the woman said. “But I don’t want the eggs. “ “Then I’ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you’re ordering a la carte, “the waitress … Read more
Peter was talking to his younger neighbor “There are advantages to being over the age of seventy… First, there is nothing left to learn the hard way. Second, things you buy now won’t wear out. Third, you can eat supper at 4 pm. Fourth, you can live without sex but not your glasses. Fifth, your … Read more
Woman customer in restaurant: “I’d like a margarita please. “ Waiter: “I’ll need to see your ID. “ Customer,giggling while showing her ID: “Do you think I look like a teenager?” Waiter: “No. I thought you qualified for our senior citizen discount. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
Waiter: I see your glass is empty, would you like another one? Client: Why would I want two empty glasses? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see. “ “I see millions … Read more
Two roaches, Tom and Oscar, are hanging out next to a dumpster enjoying a snack. “Hey Tom” said Oscar to his friend, “You know that restaurant down the block? I went there yesterday to pick up some scraps, and I couldn’t believe how clean it was, I could practically see my reflection through the shiny … Read more
A chat between mice in the Lab. First mouse: “I finally got that scientist trained. “ Second mouse: “How so?” First mouse: “Every time I go through the maze and ring the bell, he gives me something to eat. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more