One night a man was getting very drunk in a pub. He staggered back to take a piss, whipping his prick out as he went in the door. However, he had wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a woman sitting on the can, “This is for ladies!” she screamed. The drunk waved his … Read more
A man walks into a nearly empty bar and orders a drink. He’s sitting alone at the end of the bar, sipping away, and he hears a voice. “Nice shirt. “ He looks around and sees no one nearby. He forgets about it and continues drinking. “Nice tie, “the voice says again. He looks around … Read more
An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks plastic. “ Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, “But it … Read more
A third old woman, full of happiness, asks her granddaughter; “My sweety, remind me please. . What’s the name of that German guy that blew my mind off… ?” “Alzheimer, granny!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O’Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, “O’Brian, come ‘ere. I ‘ave a request for ye. “ Shawn walked to his friend’s bedside and kneels. “Shawny ole boy, we’ve been … Read more
Three men walk into a bar. The barman tells them, “If you can sit in my basement for a day, I’ll give you free beer forever. “ The first man walks out after five minutes and says, “It’s impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there. “ So the second man tries his luck, … Read more
A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect. “ “Really, “answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Twelve thirty. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
These two hunters went moose hunting every year without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got themselves a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure in the bull, then come out of the costume and … Read more
A junior partner in a law firm is sent to represent a client accused of murder. After a long trial, the case is won and the client acquitted. The young lawyer telegraphs his firm with the message, ‘Justice prevailed’. The senior partner telegraphs back, ‘Appeal immediately’. This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more
Two Eskimos have killed a walrus and they are on their way to their settlement. They are pulling the walrus by the tail, but it’s really hard to pull since its tusks keep digging into the snow and the tail continuously slips out of their grip. Halfway home, they come across a geologist. The geologist … Read more