An Englishman, an Irish man, and a Scottish man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, “We will give you one thing before you die. “ The Englishman says “water”, the Scotch man says “whiskey”, the Irish man says “a car door”. The Germans say, “Why do you want … Read more
A young man wants to be left something in his aunt’s will, so every day he goes round and takes her poodles for a walk. When she finally dies, she does indeed remember the kindness of her nephew – and leaves him the poodles. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
Two elderly gin-soaked colonels are sitting at the bar of their club. ‘Lend me a tenner for a month, old boy,’ says one. ‘What does a month-old boy want a tenner for?’ asks the other. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A gent is sitting alone at the bar in Caesars Palace. A Jewish hooker comes over to him and asks him if he would like some company. “How much, honey?” “$800. “ “800???” “Are you crazy? Every other woman that came over wanted $400!” The Jewish hooker thought about it for a second and then … Read more
A man goes into a pub and says, ‘I’d like something tall, icy and full of gin.’ The barman turns and shouts into the kitchen, ‘Oi, Doris! Someone to see you!’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?” Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two women are talking. ‘You know,’ says one. ‘Eighty percent of men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.’ ‘Well,’ says the other. ‘That will certainly revolutionize the game of hockey!’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A brain walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a pint of beer please. “The barman looks at him and says “Sorry, I can’t serve you. “ “Why not?” askes the brain. “You’re already out of your head. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A policeman sees a car weaving all over the road and hits his flashing lights. He walks up to the driver’s window and sees a good looking woman behind the wheel. There is a strong smell of liquor on her breath. He says, “I’m going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you … Read more
Lawyer: ‘Let me give you my honest opinion.’ Client: ‘No, no. I’m paying for professional advice.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.