Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, “Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader. “ The gas pump, of course, didn’t respond. The younger alien became angry … Read more
Two gays Rupert and Cecil are lying in bed together Rupert starts rubbing vaseline on his chest. Cecil ask, “What you doing?” Rupert said, “I read that vaseline stimulates hair growth and I want a hairy chest. Cecil said, “Don’t be fucking stupid, if that was true I would have a ponytail sticking out of … Read more
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells extra large condoms. He replies, “Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?” She responds, “No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
A man is riding aimlessly through the desert on a donkey. He is not hungry or thirsty, because he has a bottomless bowl of fruit. He wanders for about a week and eventually gets pretty horny. He gets to the point where he can’t stand it anymore. So he decides to try and have sex … Read more
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position. One says, “I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best. “ “I don’t think I have ever heard of that one, “says the other cowboy. “What is it?” “Well, it’s where you get your girl down on all four, and you … Read more
A man, a woman, and a great survivor are trapped on an island. The survivor finds a bunch of coconuts. The man thinks to himself, “What if there are other people on the island? Then we won’t be stranded!” He threw coconuts at nearby ships, and the island was populated. Everybody looks at him cross. … Read more
A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: “Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom. “ One day her doorbell rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door. He says: “I … Read more
A woman walks into a dildo shop to buy a dildo. After a few minutes of looking around she approaches the clerk. “Excuse me, do you have anything bigger?” She asks. The clerk shows her a few items on the shelf. “I’m looking for something way bigger than these, “she says. The clerk pauses for … Read more
“A ship with 30 sailors and one woman stranded on a desert island. After one month the woman says: “I cannot proceed in this way. “and she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: “We cannot proceed in this way. “and they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: “We cannot proceed … Read more
Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, “Do you recall your worst day last year?” The other responds, “Yes, the day I had diarrhea!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.