My friend came back from Las Vegas once. He told me the slot machines are easy to win big at. He went to town in a $15,000 Nissan, left in a $350,000 Porsche. I thought, “Nice, I’m going to get in on that. “So I left for Vegas in my $15,000 Toyota. Came back in … Read more
The Bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced: “Ladies and Gentlemen, today … Read more
Two cab drivers met. “Hey, “asked one, “what’s the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?” “Well, “the other responded, “when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
Two buddies are fishing, but they haven’t caught anything all day. Then, another fisherman walks by with a huge load of fish. They ask him: “Excuse me, but where did you get all those fish?” The other fisherman replies, “If you just go down the stream until the water isn’t salty, there are a ton … Read more
Two friends are discussing the possibility of love. “I thought I was in love three times, “one friend says. “How so?” his friend asks. “Five years ago I deeply cared for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me. “ “And that wasn’t love?” his friend asks. “No, “he replies. “That was an obsession. … Read more
Two men were adrift in an open boat, and it looked bad for them. Finally one of them, frightened, began to pray. “O Lord, “he prayed, “I’ve broken most of thy commandments. I’ve been a hard drinker, but if my life is spared now I’ll promise never again… “ “Wait a minute, Jack, “said his … Read more
A foreign correspondent did a feature story in a country in the Middle East. She noted women walked five paces behind their husbands. Years later she returned to the same country in the Middle East and observed that women still walked behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the old regime, the women now seem … Read more
The morning of the big parade, a man and a little boy entered a barber shop together. “Give me the full treatment, “the man said. “I want to look good in the parade!” After the man received a shave, manicure, and haircut, he placed the boy in the chair. “I’m going to buy a new … Read more
Genie: “OK, I’m ready for your third wish. “ Harrold: “Third? What about the first two?” Genie: “Well, this is a little unusual, but after your first wish, you screamed like a madman and said “I wish I’d never made that wish!” So that counted as your second wish, and I erased your memory of … Read more