A man walks into a bar with his pet alligator. He asks the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here?” “Yes, we do!” “Good. Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my alligator. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. “Jury trial, “the defendant replied. “Do you understand the difference?” asked the judge. “Sure, “replied the defendant. “That’s where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got signed off, so the wife made him some clothes … Read more
Husband:” What’s your fee for getting a divorce?” Lawyer: “$900” Husband: “But you charged only $200 for my marriage license a few years ago!” Lawyer: “Freedom is always expensive. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a school teacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a school teacher to appear before this court, “he smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write ‘I will not pass through … Read more
A lawyer is walking along the beach and spots a glass bottle in the sand. When he opens it he discovers a genie inside. Genie: “Sir, I will grant you three wishes, but you must understand that whatever you wish for, every other lawyer in the world will get double. Man: “Hmmm. Okay. First I’d … Read more
A lawyer went duck hunting for the first time in Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of the fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator … Read more
A man committed murder. To fight his case he was advised to hire a good lawyer. He checked one who asked for $100. He thought this one was not good enough. The next one wanted $500. The next $5000. He found a really expensive one who wanted $10,0000. So the accused hired him. Ultimately he … Read more
After suffering through years of his wife’s awful coffee, the man spit it out and took the coffee maker to his lawyer. Dropping it on the attorney’s desk, the man snarled, “Here they are!” “Here are what?” the startled lawyer asked. “Grounds for divorce. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
A man goes to see his lawyer to prepare his will. At the first meeting, the lawyer takes all the information down, and sends the man home, telling him to come see him again in two weeks. Two weeks later, the man comes back, reads the will and signs it in front of three witnesses. … Read more