A duck, a pigeon, and a chicken all walk into a courtroom… The judge asked the duck, “What is your crime?” The duck responds, “I was blowing bubbles in front of City Hall. “ The judge says, “There’s no crime committed here, you’re free to go. “ The judge then asks the pigeon, “What is … Read more
A witness was called to stand to testify about a head-on automobile collision. “Whose fault was this accident?” the lawyer asked. “As near as I could tell, “replied the witness, “they hit each other at about the same time. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A tail gunner was being court-martialed. “What did you hear in your headset?” demanded a superior officer. “Well, “replied the airman. “I heard my squadron leader holler, ‘Enemy planes at 5 o’clock!” “What action did you take?’ persisted another officer. “Why, sir, “replied the gunner, “I just sat back and waited. It was only 4:30. … Read more
Lying on his deathbed, the wealthy Mr. Sams was instructing his attorney on last-minute changes in his will. “I wish to leave everything I own, all stocks, bonds, property, art, and money, to my wife. However, there is one stipulation. “ “And that is?” “In order to inherit, she must marry within six months of … Read more
“I’m not at all satisfied with the evidence against you, “said the judge to the prisoner on trial, “so I shall find you not guilty. You are discharged. “ “Oh, good, “said the prisoner, “does that mean I can keep the money?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
At a court date the judge asked, “What makes you think the prisoner was drunk?” “Well, your honor, “replied the arresting officer, “I saw him lift up the manhole cover and walk away with it, and when I asked him what it was for he said, ‘I want to listen to it on my record … Read more
“You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background, “sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. “If I wasn’t under oath, I’d return the compliment, “replied the witness. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A lawyer phoned the governor’s mansion shortly after midnight. “I need to talk to the governor, it’s an emergency!” exclaimed the lawyer. After some cajoling, the governor’s assistant agreed to wake him up. “So, what is it that’s so important that it can’t wait until morning?” grumbled the governor. “Judge Pierson just died, and I … Read more
Three boy scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a plane that is about to crash. The pilot says “Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let’s give them to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them. “ The lawyer says, “Fuck the boy … Read more
A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer’s tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed the trial along. The attorney had bristled at the judge’s orders, and their tempers grew hot. Finally, frustrated with another repetition of arguments he had heard many times before, the judge pointed to his ear and said, “Counselor, you … Read more