A doctor and a lawyer are involved in a car crash. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor is a little shaken up, offers him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepts, has a drink and hands back the flask. The lawyer puts it in his pocket. ‘Aren’t you having one yourself?’ asks the … Read more
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all, “the lawyer said as he … Read more
The District Attorney stared at the jury, unable to believe the “not guilty” verdict he’d just heard. Bitterly, he asked, “What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?” The foreman answered, “Insanity. “ The attorney responded, still incredulous, “I could understand that. But, all twelve of you?” This joke is included in the … Read more
Judge: What is the prisoner charged with? Lawyer: He is a camera enthusiast. Judge: But you can’t put a person in jail because he is crazy about taking pictures. Lawyer: He doesn’t take pictures, your Honor, just cameras. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two lawyers were walking along, negotiating a case. “Look, “said one to the other, “let’s be honest with each other. “ “Okay, you first, “replied the other. That was the end of the discussion. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man was arraigned for assault and battery and brought before the judge. Judge: “What is your name, occupation, and what are you charged with?” Prisoner: “My name is Sparky, I am an electrician and I’m charged with battery. “ Judge: “Officer, put this guy in a dry cell. “ This joke is included in … Read more
Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor, “You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can. “ After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the judge asked … Read more
A lawyer was talking to his teenage son about his future career. “Why do you want to be a doctor instead of a lawyer?” he asked. “What’s wrong with lawyers?” “Well, Dad, “explained the boy, “I really want to help people. And when was the last time you heard anybody stand up in a crowd … Read more
A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his company for the embezzlement of many millions. At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him, “Don’t worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money. “ And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, … Read more
A man went to his lawyer and asked him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?” “Do you have any proof he owes you the money?” asked the lawyer. “Nope, “replied the man. “Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owes you, “said … Read more