A pipe burst in a lawyer’s house, so he called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the lawyer a bill for $150. The lawyer exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a lawyer!” The plumber replied sympathetically, “Neither did I … Read more
A man is on trial for stealing an overcoat. The judge went straight to the point. “Did you steal this man’s overcoat?” he demanded. “No sir, “the defendant replied, with a grin. “I was just playing a joke on him. “ “And where did you take the coat?” asked the judge. “I removed it from … Read more
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She claimed that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined. After the trial he asked the judge, “This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?” The judge said that was true. “Does this mean I cannot … Read more
The judge asked the defendant to please stand. “You are charged with cutting down a tree without having permission to do so, using a chainsaw. “ From out in the gallery, a woman shouts, “Lying miser!” “Silence in the court!” the Judge says. He turns to the defendant and says, “You are also charged with … Read more
Several women appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble that they were having in the apartment building where they all lived. The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed, “Okay, I’m ready to hear the evidence… I’ll hear the oldest first. “ The case was dismissed for lack of testimony. This joke is … Read more
The drunk defendant appears yet again before the tired judge. They both look at each other. The judge speaks first, “You have been constantly appearing before me for the past twenty years. “ The defendant interrupts the judge, “Can I help you if you can’t get promoted?” This joke is included in the Black Book … Read more
Standing before the judge during an alimony hearing, the man said, “As God is my judge, I do not owe that madwoman money!” The judge calmly replied, “He isn’t. I am. You do. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Judge: “Do you mix horse meat with chicken?” Defendant: “Yes, my lord. “ Judge; “How much?” Defendant: “50/50” Judge: “Please explain. “ Defendant: “One horse to one chicken. “ A totally naked woman rushed in a taxi. The taxi driver turned back and stared at her so keenly. The woman asked the taxi driver, “Why … Read more
Two lawyers arrived at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and begin to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, ‘Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches here! ‘ The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches. This joke … Read more
A lawyer was on his cell phone, calling a locksmith. “I locked my keys in my sports car!” said the nervous lawyer. “No problem, I should be there in about an hour, “replied the locksmith. “Do you think you can make it a little sooner?” pleaded the lawyer. “My top is down and it’s starting … Read more