Lawyer: “Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?” Client: “After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I’m beginning to think I didn’t. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. “Now don’t let me ever see your face again, “said the … Read more
The Judge said to the defendant. “I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again. “ “Your Honor, “the criminal said, “that’s what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn’t listen. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The following exchange took place between the lawyer and the witness: The lawyer: “Did you actually see the accident?” The witness: “Yes, sir. “ The lawyer: “How far away were you when the accident happened?” The witness: “Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches. “ The lawyer: … Read more
A drunk goes to court. The judge says, ‘You’ve been brought here for drinking.’ The drunk says, ‘Great. Let’s get started.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor, and it’s inoperable – in fact, it’s so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains – there’s a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an … Read more
A man came storming out of the courthouse ranting and raving; obviously really angry. He stomped across the street and into the bar and flounced down on a stool muttering, “Asshole attorneys”. The man next to him recoiled in outrage saying “I want you to know I highly resent that remark”. “Why, are you an … Read more
A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room He says to the police officer, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present. “ “You are the lawyer, “says the policeman. “Exactly, so where’s my present?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man went to his lawyer and told him, ‘My neighbor owes me £500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?’ ‘Do you have any proof he owes you the money?’ asked the lawyer. ‘Nope,’ replied the man. ‘OK, then write him a letter asking him for the £1,500 he owed you,’ said … Read more
“Young man, “said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant. “It’s alcohol and alcohol alone that’s responsible for your present sorry state!” “I’m glad to hear you say that, “replied Jack, with a sigh of relief. “Everybody else says it’s all my fault!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more