It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the defendant, “What are you charged with?” “Doing my Christmas shopping early sir”, replied the defendant. “Well that’s not a crime”, said the judge! “How early were you doing this shopping?” “Before the store opened”, answered the prisoner. This joke is … Read more
A young lawyer, defending a businessman in a lawsuit, feared he was losing the case and asked his senior partner if he should send a box of cigars to the judge to curry favor. The senior partner was horrified. “The judge is an honorable man, “he said, “If you do that, I guarantee you’ll lose … Read more
Lawyer: “Your Honor, I wish to appeal my client’s case on the basis of newly discovered evidence. “Judge: “And what is the nature of the new evidence?” Lawyer: “I have discovered that my client still has money. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A lawyer with insomnia consults his doctor. ‘Which side is it best to lie on?’ he asks. ‘The side that pays your fee,’ replies the doctor. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident to find a car smashed into a tree. The officer rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, “Are you seriously hurt?” “How should I know?” the driver responds. “I’m not a lawyer!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes … Read more
A lawyer awoke from surgery, and noticed that all the blinds in his room were closed. He asked a nurse, “Why are all the blinds drawn?” The nurse answered, “Well, there’s a fire across the street, and we didn’t want you to think you had died. “ This joke is included in the Black Book … Read more
A man is at his lawyer’s funeral and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. “Why are you all at this man’s funeral?” A man turns towards him and says, “We’re all clients. “ “And you all came to pay your respects? How touching. “ “No, … Read more
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out … Read more
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faces the opposing lawyers. ‘Both of you have given me a bribe,’ he says. ‘You, James, gave me £15,000. And you, Ronald, gave me £10,000.’ The judge reaches into his pocket, pulls out a cheque, and hands it to Tom. ‘I’m returning £5,000, and we’ll now decide … Read more