An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, “Have you ever been married?” “Yes, sir, “said the witness in a low voice. “Once. “ “Whom did you marry?” “Well, a woman. “ The lawyer bellowed angrily, “Of course you married a woman. Have you ever heard of anyone marrying a man?” To … Read more
A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, “What is 2+2?” The engineer thought for a while and finally answered, “4. “ Then the mathematician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, “4. 0” Then … Read more
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he’d finally managed an affair with the innkeeper’s daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant … Read more
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to … Read more
At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: “Do you know me, Mrs. Rowland?” “Of course, I know you Mr. Smith!” says the old woman. I have known you since you were little, and I have … Read more
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: “There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!” This joke is included … Read more
Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says; “I don’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age, we were the same size as kids… I just don’t get it. “ “Well, “says the big alligator, “what … Read more
A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After a while, he chose a bronze rat and brought it up to the counter. “That will be $10 for the bronze rat and $1,000 for the story behind it, “said the proprietor. “Thanks, but I’ll just pay the $10 and pass on the … Read more
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. “Mickey, “the judge says, “I’m sorry. I can’t grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me. “ “I didn’t say she was insane, “exclaims Mickey. “I said she was fucking Goofy. “ This joke is included in the Black … Read more
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broadsided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, “How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that … Read more