A couple is in bed sleeping when there’s a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. The husband rolls over and looks at the clock, and it’s half past 3 in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time, “he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. So he drags himself out of … Read more
Max is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts, he asks Max what the problem is. “Well, “said Max, “I ran afoul of one of those trick questions women ask. Now I’m in deep … Read more
A young woman greeted the census taker. “Good morning, “said the caller, “I’m taking the census and I’d like to ask you a few questions. Occupation?” “Homemaker, “replied the woman. “Husband’s occupation?” “Manufacturer. “ “Children?” “No, “said the woman. “Dresses. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more
A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks, “I can outrun this guy, “so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway – … Read more
The King was walking past a cheering crowd when he spotted a woman holding two babies and surrounded by five pre-teenagers. “Well, “says the King, “You have a handful. Do you have any other children?” “Yes, there are seven more at home” “Your husband deserves a knighthood, “said the King. The mother replied, “He has … Read more
A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They phone for a cab, turn on a night light, cover their pet parakeet and put the cat out in the backyard. The taxi arrives, and they open the front door to leave. Suddenly the cat they put out scoots back into the … Read more
A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him ten blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat forty blocks away. He … Read more
A couple is reading the paper, the wife says: “This article on overpopulation of the world says that somewhere in the world there is a woman having a baby every four seconds!” Her husband, not to appear uninterested, said; “I think they ought to find that woman and stop her!” This joke is included in … Read more
“You’re so childish” screamed the wife. “Why do you always have to use that stupid walkie talkie with your stupid friends, this is ridiculous, this relationship is over!” “This relationship is what? Over” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he would like a bottle of Chanel for his wife’s birthday. “A little surprise eh?” said the clerk. “You bet, “replied the man. “She is expecting a cruise. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more