A dumb girl and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The dumb girl jumps up out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this. “She goes downstairs. After some time she finally comes back up to … Read more
A man who’d just died is delivered to a local mortuary and he’s wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she … Read more
A married couple were vacationing in Hawaii and disagreed on the correct pronunciation of the state name. He said it was Hawaii and his wife said it was Havaii. They stopped a man on the street to ask his opinion. He said the correct pronunciation was Havaii. The man’s wife was delighted and thanked the … Read more
Mr. Jones is on a business trip and has bought some fish to bring home to his wife. The fish was very expensive, so Mr. Jones decided to hide it until the next day, when he would leave the hotel. The fish is well-packaged in multiple layers of paper, so Mr. Jones hides it between … Read more
A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss”. He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found … Read more
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoes, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, … Read more
Husband to stepford wife: “There are times we must save money and make every nickel count!” Wife: “That’s the reason I bought three loaves of bread today. “ Husband: “Three loaves of bread? I haven’t seen anything in the news where there has been a raise in bread. “ Wife: “I don’t know anything about … Read more
Harry was a compulsive gambler who would bet on anything —cars, horses, roulette, dogs, football, baseball, cards, dice, basketball and everything else. One day after a run of bad luck, he said to his best friend, “Buddy, I hate asking you this, but I need $3,000 urgently. We’ve got no food in the house, I … Read more
An old couple were celebrating their 60th anniversary. The wife said to her husband, “Honey, let’s get stark naked and sit at the dining table and eat our dinner!” As they sat at the dining table the wife said, “Honey I am beginning to get very hot and very aroused!” The husband says, “That is … Read more
A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s banker, so the director made a phone call. “Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity, “the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?” The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother … Read more