Morty and Ian are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking. Ian, a banker, says to Morty, “Listen, Morty, I should probably tell you, I don’t swim so well. “ Morty, who worked as a lifeguard when he was younger, begins tugging and pulling on Ian, helping him float towards shore. … Read more
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company over 30 years, he retired. Several years later the company contacted him with a problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, … Read more
A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. “Your money or your life!” says the mugger. “I’m sorry, “the social worker answers, “I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A mother wanted to teach her daughter a moral lesson. She gave the girl a quarter and a dollar for church. “Put whichever one you want in the collection plate and keep the other for yourself, “she told the girl. Sunday, when they were coming out of the church, the mother asked her daughter which … Read more
Paddy found a wallet with 50 pounds in it. He wasn’t sure how to proceed, but then he thought, “What would Jesus do?” So he turned it into wine. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?” The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. … Read more
In a small town,a homeless man with no relatives had recently passed away. A professional singer was contacted by the priest who asked if she would sing at the funeral. The priest informed her that, since he had no relatives or money, the man would be buried in a paupers grave in the countryside, and … Read more
One day a rich famous man went to buy a sports car from a dealership. The price of the car was $80000 and the man had only $79998 to pay. The sales associate insisted that the price was firm and it had to be $80000. The man came out of the store and looked around … Read more