After reading the complicated instructions for the automatic teller, the confused customer walked over to a bank officer. “Excused me, “said the customer, “but I was wondering if you could help me out. “ “Certainly, “smiled the officer. “Go right through that door. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
A police officer stops a woman on the highway and walks up to her and asks her if she knows why he stopped her. “No. “, the woman replies. “Because you don’t have any tail lights”, the police officer told her. So she gets out and walks around to the back of the car and … Read more
A golfer is walking down the road carrying his clubs when he sees an Arab being held up at gunpoint. He pulls out a wedge and smashes it over the back of the robber’s head, knocking him unconscious. “You probably saved my life, “says the grateful Arab. “I am a member of the Saudi Royal … Read more
Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms. “How are you going to assist me?” asked Quasimodo. “That’s easy!” replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his … Read more
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag. “ … Read more
“But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!” the society matron protested. “Can’t you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs?” “You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn, “soothed the police officer. “I’ll just put it … Read more
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, “Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn’t be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?” “That it is, “Irish … Read more
A young woman, all excited, called up her local police department and said, “I have a sex maniac in my apartment!” The officer at the other end said, “We’ll be right over lady. “ The woman said, “Can you wait till morning?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s … Read more
A cop stopped a drunk at about dawn. The cop asked, “Can you explain why you’re out at this hour?” “If I could, “the drunk said, “I’d be home by now!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.