At the conclusion of the sermon, the worshipers filed out of the sanctuary to greet the minister. As one shook the minister’s hand, he said, “Thanks for the message, Reverend. You know, I bet you’re smarter than Einstein. “ Beaming with pride, the minister said, “Why, thank you, that’s nice of you to say. “ … Read more
Three buildings in town were overrun by squirrels—the town hall, the hardware store, and the church. The town hall brought in some cats. But after they tore up all the files, the mayor got rid of the predators, and soon the squirrels were back. The hardware store humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free … Read more
One day a man dies and goes to heaven,where he sees St. Peter at the entrance. Before he went in, Peter stopped him and said, “Sorry, but you have told too many lies to be allowed here. “ The man looked at him sadly and said, “Have a heart, you were once a fisherman yourself. … Read more
During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and disturbing people. He interrupted his sermon and announced sternly, “There are two of you here who have not heard a word I’ve said. “ That quieted them down. When the service was over, he went to greet people at … Read more
A pastor asked his Bible class, “Why was Jesus born in Bethlehem?” A student replied, “Because his mother was there. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn’t quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor’s study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers … Read more
Mary, Anna, and Tess died and went to heaven. God warned them, “Do whatever you want, but don’t step on the pink clouds. “ One day, Mary decided to go for a walk. When she came back, there was an ugly man next to her. Anna and Tess asked, “Where’d you get that ugly man?” … Read more
Olivia, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she … Read more
A man who hadn’t attended church in years suddenly began attending faithfully on Sunday mornings instead of going fishing as was his normal habit. The pastor was highly gratified and at the end of service one morning told him, “How wonderful it makes me feel to see you at services with your good wife!” “Well, … Read more
A mother wanted to teach her daughter a moral lesson. She gave the girl a quarter and a dollar for church. “Put whichever one you want in the collection plate and keep the other for yourself, “she told the girl. Sunday, when they were coming out of the church, the mother asked her daughter which … Read more