In a terrible car accident, 3 nuns die at the same time. They all appear in front of the gates of Heaven to meet Saint Peter. When they arrive, Peter informs them that those who lived a life of the cloth must answer some basic questions about theology before they are permitted to enter Heaven. … Read more
A man gets shipwrecked on a small island. After a few days wandering, he comes across a tribe of natives who have just lost their chieftain. The tribe’s high priest tells the man that as he is the first outsider they have seen in twenty years, he must take three tests. If he passes all … Read more
A bus full of nuns crashes and unfortunately they all die at the gates of heaven they meet St Peter. He asks the first nun: “Have you ever had any contact with a penis?” The nun replies: “I poked one once. “ St Peter says: “Wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven. … Read more
A man is visiting a foreign country but does not speak the language that they speak there. He decides to go to a church service, but the priest is speaking the native language, so the American man just does whatever the man in front of him does. When the man in front of him stands, … Read more
A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out. “Good God!” exclaimed the hunter. Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, “I thought you don’t believe in me. “ The hunter replied, “Up until now I didn’t believe in 1,000-pound deer either. “ This joke is … Read more
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, “I tell you, this mad cow disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the McDonald’s farm. “ The other cow replied, “Hell, I ain’t worried, it won’t affect us … Read more
A monkey was smoking a joint in a tree in the jungle with his little lizard buddy. The lizard says, “Ooh wee! This is some good shit! My mouth is dry as hell. I’m gonna run down to the pond and get a drink. “ The lizard climbs down the tree, scurries over to the … Read more
Two church-going women were gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse fully on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, “That’s disgusting, why did you do that?” To … Read more
A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.