A magician was employed by a Shipping Line to entertain the passengers during cruises. The captain owned a parrot which always insisted on being part of the acts put on by the magician. He would perch on the edge of the stage and screech, “He does it with a mirror” or “He’s got it up … Read more
And how is your customer service”? Asked a skeptical customer to the used car dealer. “Oh, that’s first class. Anybody who buys a car from us gets a free copy of the latest railroad train schedules!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store. “ “But I’m a college graduate, “the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. … Read more
A businessman finds that his neighbor in the first class cabin of his flight is a parrot. They take off and the flight attendant asks what they would like to drink. “Glenlivet on the rocks with a twist, “says the parrot. The businessman orders a coke. After waiting two or three minutes, the bird starts … Read more
A lady sitting in first class saw the cockpit door open, she was incredulous to see that the pilot was reading, very concerned she asked a flight attendant, “Miss, why is the pilot reading? Isn’t he supposed to be flying? “ The woman fainted when the flight attendant said, “oh well, he’s just studying for … Read more
Mrs Laura, a kindergarten teacher, asked her class “what things we can eat?” “Bread” “Yes” “Hamburger” “Ok” A five years girl answered “Light”, “Omg” shouted the teacher, “how can light be eaten?” “Last night I heard mom whispering to dad ‘turn the light off and put it in my mouth’“ This joke is included in … Read more
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family – but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!” A smart-ass … Read more
A father came home from work one night to find his little boy sitting on the cat, with a pen and paper in his hand. “Why are you sitting on Felix?” he asked. “Well, the teacher told us to write an essay on the family pet. “ This joke is included in the Black Book … Read more
A professor was talking about rules on the university campus. “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory for the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught … Read more
An Italian and a Greek were arguing about which country added the most to civilization. The Greek: We built the Acropolis! the Italian: We built the Colosseum! The Greek: We gave the world advanced math! the Italian: We made the Roman Empire! The Greek: We discovered sex! the Italian: And we introduced it to women! … Read more