A couple boarded a modern jetliner for a trip to New York. The jetliner gets full of passengers and they are to go but they notice that there are no attendants or pilots. The door closes and the jetliner starts taxing down the taxiway towards the runway and starts to take off as they are … Read more
Control tower: “What’s your location?” Pilot : “I’m in the cockpit. “ Control tower:” I mean where is the airplane?” Pilot: “Mainly behind me. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as Aircraft mechanics in Melbourne. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Dave said, “Man, I wish we had something to drink!” Jim says, “Me too. Y’know, I’ve heard you can drink jet … Read more
An archaeologist in Egypt was taking a walk in the town square one morning. He had to get back to the hotel for a meeting but had forgotten his wristwatch. He was walking by an old man sitting on a low stool by his camel and asked if he knew the time. The old man … Read more
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever … Read more
A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas. They successfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immediately. The men were very excited and could only speak of doing the job. Suddenly the pilot flying … Read more
Two Antartians were flying from New York to Miami. Twenty minutes into the flight, the Captain announces, “One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don’t worry, we have three engines left. “ Forty minutes later, the Captain announces, “One more engine has failed and the flight will … Read more
On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight. . Then, forgetting to turn off the … Read more
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get underway. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the … Read more
There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, “Oh I’m sorry, would you like some?” He replied, “No, I think I’ll wait. “ So they continued down the road and the … Read more