A lawyer walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool. He walks up to her and says, “Hi there, how’s it going tonight?” She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, “I’ll screw anybody at any time, anywhere – your place or my place, … Read more
A guy goes to an interview for a job as a government accountant. The interviewer asks him, “Are you a veteran?” The guy says, “Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam. “ “Good, “says the interviewer, “that counts in your favor. Do you have any service related disabilities?” The guy says, “In … Read more
An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse stumbles into a Podiatrist’s office instead and weaves over to the receptionist. Without looking up, she waves him over to the examination bed and says, “Stick it through that curtain. “ Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pulls out his penis and sticks it through the … Read more
The cleaning lady comes to the bank manager… “Can you please give me the key to the safe vault?” “What?! What for?” “It’s always so time consuming to have to use my hairpin in order to clean it!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
One day a man showed up at the office wearing a pair of new shoes made of turtle skin. When a co-worker asked him how he liked them, he replied thoughtfully, “Well, they’re the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever worn but I do have one unusual problem with them. It took me an hour and … Read more
Two Hollywood stars ran into each other at the door of their psychiatrist’s office. “Hello, there, “said one. “Are you coming or going?” “If I knew that, “said the other, “I wouldn’t be here. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An engineer goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, “I’d like to register my new invention. It’s a folding bottle. “ “OK, “says the clerk. “What do you call it?” “A fottle, replies the inventor. “ “A fottle? That’s a stupid! Can’t you think of … Read more
A man walks into the sheriff’s office… “I want to become a deputy!” “Good, I want you to catch this man” says the sheriff handling the man, a wanted poster. The poster reads: ‘Last seen wearing a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, and brown paper boots. ‘ “What’s he wanted for?” … Read more
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8. 30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8. 30?’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. “Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?” inquired the officer. “Mister, “exclaimed the telephone … Read more