Doctor says to his patient: “Your liver results are back. And frankly, they’re very surprising considering that I only allowed you one glass of wine per week. “ The patient shrugs: “Do you really think you are the only doctor I am going to?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
Steward the biker comes to the hairdresser. The hairdresser stares at his greasy hair in disbelief for a while and then asks, “So, did you come to cut your hair or just for an oil change?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A 96 year old man goes in the insurance and says to the insurer: “Hello my son. I want to have a life insurance policy. “ Perplexed by the old man, the insurer asks: “Sorry for the indiscretion, but why do you want to make life insurance?” “You know my son, I will travel with … Read more
Two police officers saw an old woman staggering out of a local bar, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser and one of the officers got in the … Read more
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. George ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?” The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Telma Wilson, … Read more
Two elderly ladies meet at the market after not seeing each other for some time. One asked how the other’s husband was doing. “Oh! Rodger died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead right there in the vegetable patch. “ “Oh … Read more
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds. “ When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. … Read more
A lumberjack new to the job had trouble meeting his quota. He worked as hard as he could, but still he could only chop down two or three trees in a day. His supervisor noticed this, and asked what was wrong. Maybe his chainsaw was broken. The supervisor turned it on, but it was working … Read more
Two new members of a hunting lodge get introduced to its oldest member. They ask him to tell his favorite hunting story, and he agrees. “Well, back in 1944 in Africa, “the old man starts, “we went big-game hunting. Didn’t have much luck at first, but on the third day I was resting by a … Read more
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died, “she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years. “ “Amazing, “said the counselor. “How did you do it?” “I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward. “ This joke … Read more