Three friends, a Rabbi, a Hindu holy man and a lawyer, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, “There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn. “ “No … Read more
During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level. He described a typical day this way: ‘Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several rocky hills, … Read more
A woman said to her friend, “I don’t know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can’t imagine. He doesn’t put anything in its place, I am always going around the house picking up after him. “ The friend says, “Take a tip from me. The first week after we … Read more
Dorothy and Edna, two “senior” widows, are talking. Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. ? I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer. “ Edna: “Well, I’ll tell you. He shows up at my … Read more
At a wine merchant’s warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire. A drunk with a ragged dirty look came to apply for the position. The director wondered how to send him away. They gave him a glass to drink. The old drunk tried it and said, … Read more
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. “I have good news and bad news, “the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told … Read more
Two blondes, Jane and Sarah, were deep in a philosophical argument. “Since you’re so damned smart, “Sarah says, “Answer this question: why is it that when a slice of buttered bread falls to the ground, it’s bound to fall on the buttered side?” Jane snorts, “It doesn’t always land on the buttered side. Here, I’ll … Read more
An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. He approached the receptionist desk. The receptionist was a large imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice the receptionist said, … Read more
After hearing the story of Jonah at Sunday School, a little girl repeated the story at school on Monday. Her teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl said, “But how can that … Read more
At a store, a blonde lady stood in line waiting to pay for her items. Three men stood before her in the line. After 15 minutes she realized that the line wasn’t moving at all. She shouted at the cashier, ‘Is this line going to take all day long?’ The cashier replied, ‘Please step aside … Read more