Preparing for the most important presentation of his life, a sales rep went to a psychiatrist. “I’ll implant a hypnotic suggestion in your mind, “said the shrink. “Just say ‘one-two-three,’ and you’ll give the presentation of your life. However, do not say ‘one-two-three-four,’ because it will cause you to freeze up and make a fool … Read more
Harvey’s boss said to him, “You’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?” Harvey said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man comes home and sees a note on the refrigerator from his wife. She wrote, “This isn’t working. I’m at my mother’s. “ The man opens the fridge, the light turns on, and he says to himself, “What the hell? The fridge is working fine!” This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more
A man goes to a job interview. His resume was fantastic and his qualities were perfect for the company. The interviewers were impressed. “You are a strong candidate, and we would like to hire you. However, there’s a six year gap in your resume. What were you doing during that time?” “I went to Yale” … Read more
A teacher asks his pupils, “Can anyone tell me the difference between constructive criticism and unnecessary nastiness?” Little Johnny puts his hand up. “One is the process of offering valid and well-reasoned opinions about the work of others, usually involving both positive and negative comments. “ “Very good, Johnny, “says the teacher. “And the other?” … Read more
A mechanic comes home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. He grabs the guy and drags him naked down the stairs to the garage,where he grabs the guy’s cock, puts it in a vise, screws it down real tight and removes the handle of the vise. Then he rummages … Read more
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. “I’m sorry, sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I’ll smell it and order … Read more
Two dragons walk into a bar. The first one says, “It sure is hot in here. “ His friend snaps back, “Shut your mouth!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A housewife buys a parrot to keep her company during the day. The clerk warns that the parrot was donated by a brothel, where he may have picked up some colorful language. The housewife doesn’t mind and brings the parrot home. When she uncovers the cage, the parrot says, “Brawkk! New Madam. Hello, Madam. “ … Read more