The chief of staff of the Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand … Read more
Three men were using the urinals in a public restroom in DC. The first man finished relieving himself, zipped up, strolled to the sinks and proceeded to wash his hands, using plenty of soap and water and doing a splendidly thorough job. As he was drying his hands (with lots of paper towels), he loftily … Read more
A Medical University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body. When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a cork in the man’s butt. Mystified, he … Read more
Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. “We didn’t find any money, but we got something to eat, “he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave. The next morning’s newspaper headline reads, “World’s … Read more
Two thieves each sneak into a rich man’s party. During dinner the thieves marveled at how even the cutlery was made of gold, and both decided they would try to steal some. The first thief quietly slipped a golden spoon into his pocket, unaware that the second thief had witnessed this crime. After dinner, the … Read more
The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt. As if the health … Read more
Jerry was in a job interview today when the manager handed him his laptop and said, “I want you to try and sell this to me. “ So Jerry put it under his arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually the manager called Jerry’s mobile and said, “Bring it back here right … Read more
In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, “Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests. “ Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. “Well, said Mr. Johnson, I was looking over your test and the question was, … Read more
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors, “he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in … Read more
This woman walks into a bar, and she has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits. She sits down, raises her arm, and says, “Bartender, I would like a drink. “ There’s an old drunk sitting next to her. Slurring, he says, “Barkeep, I would like to buy the ballerina a drink. “ She … Read more