A man walks into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three weeks. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says “I’ve got a Rolls Royce — keep it until the loan is paid off — here are the keys. “ The loan … Read more
A man went to his lawyer and told him, ‘My neighbor owes me £500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?’ ‘Do you have any proof he owes you the money?’ asked the lawyer. ‘Nope,’ replied the man. ‘OK, then write him a letter asking him for the £1,500 he owed you,’ said … Read more
A man walks into a bar and notices his friend sitting alone staring at a tiny man on the table playing the piano. “Wow, look how small he is, where did you get him?!” Says the man. “Oh, well there’s this genie round the back of the bar, and he grants you whatever wish you … Read more
Having put in over 300 miles behind the wheel during the first day of the cross country business trip, the weary salesman was prepared to stop at the first motel along the road, when he spotted a sign advertising, “Grandma’s Whorehouse 30 Miles Ahead. “ His spirits understandably cheered, the salesman drove on to Grandma’s … Read more
Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as Aircraft mechanics in Melbourne. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Dave said, “Man, I wish we had something to drink!” Jim says, “Me too. Y’know, I’ve heard you can drink jet … Read more
A man comes home alone from work. Suddenly he hears this voice saying: “Now it’s time to quit your job, sell your house, take your money and go to Las Vegas. “ He doesn’t pay much attention to it but after a week hearing the same voice, he thinks ok! He quits his job, sells … Read more
Charlie joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day a gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and he immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: “Sir, did you call for me?” Charlie replies “No, what do you mean?” She says: “You must be … Read more
A young lad went to a tailor shop in Scotland. He told the tailor, “I’d like ye to make me a kilt with this material here, and if ye don’t mind, I’d like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings. “ … Read more
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. “What’s that big brass gong for?” one of the guests asked. “Why, that’s the talking clock, “the man replied. “How does it work?” “Watch”, the man said, giving … Read more
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, “Just what the hell are you doing?!” “Well, “said the guy, “you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you … Read more