A big bullfrog is in the middle of the swamp crying out his lament about being stuck so far from all the action. Out of nowhere this fairy godmother appears and tells him he will have an encounter with a beautiful young woman in three years. The bullfrog asks this fairy godmother why it will … Read more
One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books – the Bible and Darwin’s Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, “Why are you reading both those books”? “Well, “said the Orangutan, “I just wanted to know if I was my brother’s keeper or my keeper’s brother. “ This joke … Read more
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2 hours. “ The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before I … Read more
“Hello, “exclaimed Jonathan, as he met his friend Michael. “You’re looking a bit off color. Anything wrong?” “I’m afraid there is, “replied Michael, “I’ve had to give up drinking, smoking and gambling. “ “Well, I must say that’s all to your credit, “commended Jonathan. “Oh, no, it isn’t, “snapped Michael. “It’s due to my lack … Read more
Bill and John, in their 80’s decided to visit the Madam for one last sexual encounter. The Madam noticed Bill and John approaching, she quickly prepared 2 blow-up dolls, placing one in each room on the bed. Bill and John told the Madam that “We are here for the last time”. The Madam sent Bill … Read more
The landlady of a rooming house that had seen better days was leading a prospective tenant to a third floor room with badly splattered wall paper. Landlady: “The last man who lived in this room was an inventor—he invented some type of explosive. “ Prospective tenant: “Then the spots on the wall were some type … Read more
The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal?” “A mongoose. “ “What for?” “Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I’m scared to death of … Read more
Two men are walking in the desert. They come upon a hole in the ground. One man asks, “How deep is that hole?” The other responds, “I don’t know, throw something in it and see how long it takes to hit the bottom. “ The other man turns around and finds an anvil. He tosses … Read more
Waiter: I see your glass is empty, would you like another one? Client: Why would I want two empty glasses? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Terry slammed his cards on the table and left the game in a huff. “Boy, “said another player disgustingly, “I really hate playing cards with a bad loser. “ “He isn’t very pleasant, “another player said, raking in the chips, “but it’s better than playing with a good winner. “ This joke is included in … Read more