A man comes home and finds he has a letter from the Inland Revenue, advising him that he’s going to be audited. In a panic, he calls his accountant:”Oh my God, I’m going to be audited, what do I do?” he says. “Don’t worry, I have all your receipts and paperwork in order. “says the … Read more
A man was involved in an auto accident. A policeman ran up to the car and asked, “Are you seriously injured?” The man said, “How should I know? I’m a doctor not a lawyer. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Lawyer: “Is it a crime to throw sodium in your enemy’s eyes?” Judge: “Yes, that’s assault. “ Lawyer: “I know it’s a salt but is it a crime?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
“Excuse me, “a young fellow said to an older man, “I’ve just moved here and I wonder if this town has any criminal lawyers?” “Well, “replied the older man, “I have lived here all my life and all I can tell you is we are pretty sure we do, but no one has been able … Read more
An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney’s office as his lawyer handed him his will. “Your estate is very complex, “said the lawyer, “but I’ve made sure that all of your wishes will be executed. Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500. “ Just then, the phone rang … Read more
A man in the dress business called a friend, also in the dress business, and asked how things were going. “Couldn’t be better, “answered the friend. “Even with the recession, our sales are up 40 percent. My son, the lawyer, just won a big case. And his fee was a million dollars. My other son, … Read more
A fellow charged with robbing a sporting-goods store asked a lawyer to defend him. “I will take your case, “the lawyer said, “If you will assure me of two things: that you are innocent, and that you will pay me $1600. “ The client thought for a moment, then said, “Will you do it for … Read more
Judge: “Are you defending yourself?” Defendant: “Yes, your Honor. “ Judge: “You know that if you cannot afford it, the State may appoint you a lawyer. “ Defendant: “I know, your Honor, but I don’t want one. I plan to tell the truth. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
A lawyer is settling accounts with his client. “Let’s do it this way, “he says, “Pay me $5000 now and then $400 a month. “ “Gee, “the client says, “I feel like I’m paying for a car. “ Lawyer replies, “You are! And it’s a nice one too. “ This joke is included in the … Read more