A man goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids. “ Now his mind … Read more
Fred and Mary got married, but can’t afford a honeymoon. The family goes back to Fred’s parent’s home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred’s little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and … Read more
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. “Is this your husband?” he nervously asks. “No, silly, “she replies, snuggling up to him. “Your boyfriend, then?” he continues. “No, not at all, “she says, nibbling away at … Read more
A logician’s wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: “So, is it a boy or a girl” ? The logician replies: “yes”. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man who wants to murder his wife goes into a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. “I’m sorry sir, but I can’t give you cyanide just like that. “ Without a word, the man takes out his wife’s photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, “My mistake, I didn’t realize you … Read more
Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and runs over an opossum. Knowing that mother opossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal. Sure enough there was a baby, so they decided to rescue it. They take it into the car and continue down … Read more
The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up, “he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample. “ The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? … Read more
A guy’’s wife goes missing while diving off the Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. Next morning there’s a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old sergeant and a younger constable. The sergeant … Read more
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom’s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn’t quit it. … Read more
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Wife: “What are you doing dear?” Husband: “Swatting flies – I got three males and two females” Wife: “How on earth do you know which gender they were?” Husband: “Easy – three were on the beer, and the … Read more