A man went on a dating website, hoping to find a wife. In his profile description he wrote, “Looking for a woman that is smart, pretty, funny, a good cook, organized at home, and has a bass boat!” He then paused, gave it some more thought, and added, “To be considered, please include a picture … Read more
A guy had the courage,but not the skills to tackle home-repair projects. His garage was littered with the pieces of a lawn mower he once tried to fix. One day his wife found him in the living room, attacking the vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver. “I can’t get this thing to cooperate!” he exclaimed. His … Read more
Wife to husband: “Did you like supper?” Trying to be polite, the husband says, “Yes. “ The wife says, “I was just wondering, because when I gave some to the cats they tried to bury it. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two friends are in the living room. The wife of one of them is in the kitchen. “Sweetheart, please, can you hand us the bottle of whisky?” he says. And then, again, “Sweetheart, and two glasses please?” The other man stares at him and says, “My gosh, how long have you been married?” “Thirty years. … Read more
A guy was gazing at the stars through his binoculars when his wife came out in a new dress. She asked if it made her hips look smaller. He paused for a second, turned his binoculars around, and then looked at her. “I’ve got some good news honey, you’ve never looked better. “ This joke … Read more
A twice married and divorced well-to-do business man named Ralph felt he finally found his soulmate in a woman half his age. Dorothy, his new wife, was pretty, dirty blond hair, and not all that bright, but Ralph didn’t care. He would do anything to make her happy, and on Dorothy’s birthday he called her … Read more
Husband: “You will never succeed in making that dog obey you. “ Wife: “Nonsense! it’s only a matter of patience, remember I had a lot of trouble with you at first as well…” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Stan was tired from fishing all morning , so he went in for a nap . His wife ,Joyce ,took the boat out onto the lake and sat in it reading a book . After about half an hour , the sheriff pulled alongside in his motor-boat ‘“Ma’am “he said , “I am sorry but … Read more
“That’s a nice plant, “said a woman at the florist’s shop, pointing to the flower I was buying. “Yeah, my wife and I had an argument, “I admitted. “I was going to buy her a dozen roses, but I don’t think she’s that mad at me. “ This joke is included in the Black Book … Read more
Two newlyweds quickly realized their marriage wasn’t working and filed for a divorce. The judge asked them what the problem was. The husband replied, “In the five weeks that we’ve been together, we haven’t been able to agree on a single thing. “ The judge turned to the wife, “Have you anything to say?” She … Read more