Sam offered to drive his mother-in-law to the doctor’s. But when he arrived at her house, Sam found her gossiping away with a neighbor. “Mom, we’ve got to go, “Sam interjected, but she couldn’t hear him over the chatter. “Mom!” Sam repeated as he pulled her away. “Sorry, but I didn’t know what to do, … Read more
“Why isn’t John at work today?” “He is in hospital. “ “But I saw him dancing with a chick last night. “ “His wife saw him too. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Charlie’s wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, … Read more
A blonde goes to the doctor’s and finds out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what’s wrong. She replies, “I know who the dad is for one of them but I don’t know who the dad is for the other one!” This joke is included in the Black … Read more
Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper … Read more
A doctor remarked on his patients, ruddy complexion. “I know” the patient said “It’s high blood pressure, it’s from my family. “Your mother’s side, or father’s side?” questioned the doctor. Neither, my wife’s. “What?” the doctor said “that can’t be, how can you get it from your wife’s family?” “Oh yeah, “the patient responded, “You … Read more
A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, “Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy. “ The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp. “Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy”, again the bartender brought her a Martini. By this time the … Read more
A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the local Rugby match and Dad can’t find the tickets. Dad: “Nip home and see if I left the tickets there. “ Bobby: “No probs, Dad. “ Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium. Bobby: “Yep, they’re on … Read more
A man with pain on his right knee consulted his doctor. Doctor said: “It is nothing to worry about. It is due to old age. “ Patient: “The left knee is of the same age. But how is it that my leg does not hurt?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
A psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving give an oral quiz to the freshman class. Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair … Read more