A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked confused, so a clerk walked up to them and asked them what they wanted. The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets. He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them. The husband looked confused again. He asked the clerk, “What the hell do … Read more
A lawyer buys a farm as a weekend retreat. While walking round his new property he looks down and sees that his feet are in the middle of a huge cowpat. The lawyer starts yelling, ‘Oh my God! Help me, help me!’ His wife runs up and asks what’s the matter. The lawyer points to … Read more
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. “It’s for my husband, “she tells the clerk. “Did he tell you what gauge to get?” asked the clerk. “Are you kidding?” she says. “He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!” This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more
George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer’s firm, and was ushered into his office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked. “Well, if those are my choices, I guess I’ll take the bad news first. … Read more
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money I wouldn’t be here. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will. “To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million, “the attorney reads. “To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I left … Read more
Two men playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them. One man said: “I’ll walk up to them and tell them to hurry up. “ When he returned he said: “I have a problem, one of the women is my wife and the other one is my mistress. “ The … Read more
Three men discuss the Christmas presents they bought for their wives. The first man says that he bought his wife a vacation home in the Bahamas and one in Jamaica. “That way, “he explains, “if she doesn’t like one, she can use the other. “ The second man says he had bought his wife a … Read more
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, “Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four”. Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell … Read more
An old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoon. They were in bed getting ready to have sex for the first time and the old woman said, “I should tell you I have acute angina. “ The old man says, “I hope so. You sure don’t have cute tits. “ This … Read more