Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. … Read more
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on … Read more
Monica is at the dentist. Half of her mouth is locked due to anesthesia, the dentist is intensively working. Monica’s mobile phone starts ringing. Ignoring it four times, the dentist finally answers the phone pissed: “What’s up?” “What’s up?”, – some man asks. Dentist:”Who are you?” “I’m Monica’s husband”says the guy on the other side. … Read more
Mom was very upset when she found a bondage S&M magazine in her son’s room. She showed it to her husband when he got home. He handed it back to her without a word. She asked him, “Well, what do we do about this?” “Well, whatever you do, don’t spank him. “ This joke is … Read more
A man walks into his office box on a Monday morning. He checks his e-mails and sees one from his neighbor. it reads, “Do you have any naked photos of your wife?” Outraged the man replies, “No, I do Not!” Shortly after he receives a second e-mail from his neighbor. Expecting an apology he opens … Read more
A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walked in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, “Oh well,I better get home. My wife doesn’t like me to stay out during late night. “ The first guy replies, “I’ll help you out of this. … Read more
While watching TV with his wife, a man tosses peanuts into the air and catches them in his mouth. Just as he throws another peanut into the air, the front door opens, causing him to turn his head. The peanut falls into his ear and gets stuck. His daughter comes in with her date. The … Read more
One day, a spaceship landed in a farmer’s field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately invited the Martian couple to his home and begged them to stay for the evening and have dinner, so … Read more
A husband and wife decide to make a password for sex, they decide on a ‘washing machine’. Later in bed that night husband says, “Washing machine. “ Wife replies, “Not tonight darling I have a sore head. “ Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, “Washing machine. “ Husband replies, “Too … Read more
Walking home after a girls’ night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that. The next day, the first woman’s husband phones the second … Read more