“Honey, “said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper. “ “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that. “ “Then why did you invite a friend for … Read more
It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 30 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big … Read more
A man says to his wife, “Get ready you, me and the dog are going fishing. “ Wife says, “I don’t want to go. “ Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the arse. Wife picked the blow job. After she sucked for a while she said, “It tastes like … Read more
Man gives blood to save his wife’s life. Few months later they divorced. Husband says to his wife, “I want my blood back, you bitch!” Wife throws the tampon at him and says, “I will pay you back monthly, you bastard. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact, “Mary. Mary. “ “Is that you, Fred?” “Yes, … Read more
Wife says to husband, “You make love like you decorate. “ Husband replies, “What do you mean – very slow and professional?” “No, “she replies, “I have to finish the job myself. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man and woman were celebrating their 50 year anniversary. That night, the woman comes out of the bathroom completely naked and looks at her husband who is already in bed. She says, “Honey, 50 years ago tonight, when I came out of the bathroom with no clothes on, what were you thinking?” He said, … Read more
A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she’s wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, “Where did you get that necklace?” She replies, “I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner. “ The next day, the woman arrives home from work wearing … Read more
At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: “Do you know me, Mrs. Rowland?” “Of course, I know you Mr. Smith!” says the old woman. I have known you since you were little, and I have … Read more