Two newlyweds quickly realized their marriage wasn’t working and filed for a divorce. The judge asked them what the problem was. The husband replied, “In the five weeks that we’ve been together, we haven’t been able to agree on a single thing. “ The judge turned to the wife, “Have you anything to say?” She … Read more
A husband died. A few weeks later the wife died. As she got to heaven she saw her husband. She ran up to him with tears in her eyes. “Darling, how I’ve missed you!” The husband extends his arms stopping her from embracing him and says, “Whoa there woman, the contract was until death!” This … Read more
Husband:” What’s your fee for getting a divorce?” Lawyer: “$900” Husband: “But you charged only $200 for my marriage license a few years ago!” Lawyer: “Freedom is always expensive. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An 80-year-old gentleman was being interviewed on his 60 years of marriage. “Is there one big difference in your marriage today compared to when you were first married?” asked the interviewer. “Well, “said the man after pondering for a moment, “it now takes me all night to do what I used to do all night. … Read more
Wife’s diary:” We had plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping all day with my friends. Later he was acting weird. I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late. He was silent at the restaurant too and didn’t eat much. While going to bed, … Read more
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d … Read more
A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: “There is no easy way to say this so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a … Read more
At 9 p. m. one night, a pilot who had run out of fuel made an emergency landing at a top secret government base. He was quickly surrounded by security and taken inside to be interrogated. The interrogation was grueling because they wanted to make sure it was an unplanned landing and he was not … Read more
Fred tried to calm himself down in the middle of a severe argument with his wife Samantha. He said to her, “Let us not fight any more. We should try to sort this out in a level-headed manner. “ Fuming with anger, Sam replied, “No. Whenever we try to sort things out in a level-headed … Read more
An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, “If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!” One day, the man … Read more