A woman was sleeping in her bed when her husband crashed through the front door at 3 am and woke her up. He staggered and tried to get up the stairs, “What are you doing?” she shouted. The husband replied “I’m trying to get a gallon of beer up the stairs” “Leave it down there” … Read more
A young couple lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog. Visiting the pet store, the young wife asked for a good guard dog. “Sorry, we’re all sold out, “the clerk replied. “All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But … Read more
Wife: “I’m leaving you. “ Husband: “Is it because I act like I know everything?” Wife: “Yes. “ Husband: “I knew it. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A woman took her dog to the parlor for a haircut and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would cost her $50, she was outraged. “I only pay thirty bucks for my own haircut!” she said. The groomer replied, “That may be true. But then you don’t bite, do you?” This joke … Read more
Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bill looks around the … Read more
One evening Jim was walking through a rather seedy section of town, when a bum walked up to him and asked Jim for two dollars. Jim asked him, “Will you buy booze?” The bum replied, “No. “ Then Jim asked, “Will you gamble it away?” The bum said, “No. “ After giving the bum the … Read more
This guy was drinking at the bar counter. Every time he took a drink he would pull something from his pocket and look at it. Eventually the curiosity of the bartender got the better of him and he asked the guy what he was looking at. The guy replied: I’ve got a picture of my … Read more
A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings. “Mom, “said the little boy, “what are all those women doing?” “They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work, “she replied. The cabbie turns around and says, “Geez lady, … Read more
An old farmer is inconsolable after his dog goes missing. He takes out an ad in the newspaper, but two weeks later, there’s still no sign of the mutt. “What did you write in the ad?” his wife asks. “Here, boy, “he replies. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
At a local gun show two guys were bragging about their wife’s abilities. “My wife’s a fine shot. She can hit a dollar every time. “ “That’s nothing. My wife goes through my trousers and never misses a dime. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more