A man is out shopping when he discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. He buys a pack and shows his wife. ‘They’re in three colors,’ he tells her, ‘Gold, silver and bronze.’ ‘So what color are you going to wear tonight?’ she asks. ‘Gold of course,’ replies the man. ‘Why don’t you wear silver?’ … Read more
Things have reached a crisis point in Sophie’s marriage. “If things are so bad, “her friend advises her. “Then you should leave your husband. “ “I would, “says Sophie. “If only I could think of a way of doing it that wouldn’t make him happy. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more
Dan was walking down the street with his wife earlier when she accused him of being ashamed to be seen with her. “That’s total bullshit. “Dan replied. By text, from across the road. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, “Sit with my wife. You two have a lot … Read more
Three weeks after her wedding day, Ava called the vicar who had married her. “Reverend, “she wailed, “Chris and I have had a dreadful fight!” “Calm down, my child, “said the Reverend, “it’s not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!” “I know, I know!” said … Read more
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, … Read more
Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and … Read more
Jane and Max were at a red light when a car pulled up, its music blasting. “He’ll be deaf before he’s 25, “Max said. “That won’t help us, “his wife replied. “He’ll only turn it up. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
One morning while his wife was making breakfast, a man walked up to her and gave her a healthy pinch on her butt. He said to her, “If you firmed up your butt we could get rid of your girdle. “ The wife was angry but said nothing. The next morning her husband pinched her … Read more