A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly. “ Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the … Read more
A man limps into a bar with a cane and an alligator. The bartender stops him and says “Hold on a second here – you can’t bring that animal in here, they aren’t allowed!” So the man says, “But my gator here does a really cool trick… “ The bartender says “Well then, let’s see!” … Read more
A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out and takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is grateful, thanks the man, and tells him that he will … Read more
A police station gets two new horses and two cops are assigned to be mounted policemen. They go on a ride and come back pleased. “This horse is great! From now on I’ll always take this one” said the first cop. “My horse’s great too. So I’ll always take it” replied the second cop. “But … Read more
Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting. On landing, the pilot says, “Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and one bear. “ The hunters go out and return with two bears. So the pilot says, “I told you one bear!” … Read more
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, “Oh, oh!” Noticing some bones on the … Read more
One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his backyard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate. “Hello Johnny, what are you up to?” he asked. “My goldfish died and I’m gonna bury him, “Johnny replied. “That’s a really big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” asked the neighbor. “That’s because he’s … Read more
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to Little Johnny and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. “ Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the … Read more
A woman called an airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. “Sure, “the customer service representative said, “as long as you provide your own kennel. “ The representative further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll … Read more
An old-time pastor was riding furiously down the road, hurrying to get to church on time. Suddenly, his horse stumbled and threw him to the ground. Lying in the dirt, his body wracked with pain, the pastor called out, “All you angels in heaven, help me get up on my horse!” With extraordinary strength, he … Read more