Drinking all night at a bar a man stumbles to the restroom to throw up. He doesn’t make it in time and pukes all over the front of his shirt. As the drunk returned to the bar the bartender asked: “What the hell happened?” The drunk is very upset explaining to the bartender: “My wife’s … Read more
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good, “the man said, to the … Read more
A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red ‘H’ on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard … Read more
Bloke in hospital with 50% burns, Dr. says, “Give him two Viagra. “ Nurse asks, “Do you think that will help?” Dr replies, “No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
There were three nurses in a morgue… They entered a room where they had discovered that there was a dead man laying on the bed with a hard-on. The first nurse was very forward and said, “Wow! I have never seen that before, I can’t let that go to waste”. After saying this the first … Read more
A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of baked beans, would you know which bean … Read more
A man rushes out of his wife’s hospital room. “Doctor, doctor — my wife’s been in a coma for several months, but when I just touched her left breast, she sighed!” “That’s very encouraging, “says the doctor. “Go back and touch her right breast. See if she reacts. “ A few minutes later, the man … Read more
“Mr. Ben, I am asking for your daughter’s hand. “ “Why? I don’t get it, don’t you have a hand?” “I do sir, but I’m sick and tired with my own hand sir!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat … Read more
A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and he says “I hope the porn is disabled. “ The guy at the desk replies. “It’s just regular porn you sick fuck. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.