Ocean-Going Yacht Row
Wife to husband: ‘When I married you you said you had an ocean-going yacht!’ Husband: ‘Shut up and row.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Family Jokes
Genie Explains Well
Three guys, Irish, English, and Scottish are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total, “says the Genie. The Scottish guy says, “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s a fisherman, his … Read more
Flat Chest
Husband to wife: ‘You have a flat chest and hairy legs. Tell me, have you ever been mistaken for a man?’ ‘No,’ replies his wife. ‘Have you?’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Forty Pounds 2
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died, “she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years. “ “Amazing, “said the counselor. “How did you do it?” “I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward. “ This joke … Read more
Half Dressed Redneck
Half dressed redneck couple sitting on a couch watching the news on TV with man’s arm around the woman. The man says “Lookit them homo-sekshuls are ruining the sanctity of our institution. “We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. “ “Right, Darlin. “ The … Read more
Wife’s Underwear
Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’ “Feeling randy?” asks the other. “‘No, “says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Which Profession Yours
A husband and wife are walking down the street when a beautiful young woman blows the husband a kiss. “I met her last week, “explains the husband. “Professionally of course. “ The wife replies, “Which profession? Yours or hers?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Dark Forest – Complains I’m
Wife complains husband, “When I’m crossing the dark forest when I’m coming back home I’m scared that someone will rape me. “ “Don’t worry” answers the husband, “you wouldn’t be so lucky… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Crowded Local Bar
A man walks into a crowded local bar brandishing a revolver yelling “Who’s been screwing my wife?” A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, “You don’t have enough ammo, mate!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Bigger Breasts
A couple has been married for many years, and one day the man tells his wife that he wishes she had bigger breasts. “But how am I going to get bigger breasts?” she asks. “That’s simple. “he says, “Just rub your breasts with toilet paper every day. “ “And that would do it?” the surprised … Read more