Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, “… and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair. “ This … Read more
The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, he’s sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished. The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him a £5. 00 … Read more
It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 30 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big … Read more
Wife says to husband, “You make love like you decorate. “ Husband replies, “What do you mean – very slow and professional?” “No, “she replies, “I have to finish the job myself. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man and woman were celebrating their 50 year anniversary. That night, the woman comes out of the bathroom completely naked and looks at her husband who is already in bed. She says, “Honey, 50 years ago tonight, when I came out of the bathroom with no clothes on, what were you thinking?” He said, … Read more
A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she’s wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, “Where did you get that necklace?” She replies, “I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner. “ The next day, the woman arrives home from work wearing … Read more
At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: “Do you know me, Mrs. Rowland?” “Of course, I know you Mr. Smith!” says the old woman. I have known you since you were little, and I have … Read more
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. … Read more
Man gives blood to save his wife’s life. Few months later they divorced. Husband says to his wife, “I want my blood back, you bitch!” Wife throws the tampon at him and says, “I will pay you back monthly, you bastard. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more