The judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement from one which he had previously made to the police. “For example, “he said, “when I entered my chambers today, I was sure I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then … Read more
Mary comes home rather late. “Oh, sweetheart, “she called, “your car’s on Maple Street. “ “Why didn’t you bring it home?” her husband asked. “Couldn’t, she said. “It’s too dark out there to find all the parts. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, “I want a loan; I am going to divorce my husband. “ “Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces, “the manager says. “We offer loans only for things like real estate, appliances, automobiles, businesses, and home improvement. “ Kathy interrupts: “Stop right … Read more
After her conviction of murder in the second degree, the District Attorney, during her sentencing hearing said, “Mrs. Madison – after you put the arsenic in the stew and served it to your husband, didn’t you feel even a little remorse for what you were doing?” “I did, “she said calmly. “And when was that?” … Read more
A couple was at the mall and his wife decided to buy something for their daughter-in-law at an exclusive lingerie shop. Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place when a beautiful clerk asked if she could help him. In a cocky manner, he asked, “Where are all the men’s clothes?” In a demure … Read more
A married couple were vacationing in Hawaii and disagreed on the correct pronunciation of the state name. He said it was Hawaii and his wife said it was Havaii. They stopped a man on the street to ask his opinion. He said the correct pronunciation was Havaii. The man’s wife was delighted and thanked the … Read more
Mr. Jones is on a business trip and has bought some fish to bring home to his wife. The fish was very expensive, so Mr. Jones decided to hide it until the next day, when he would leave the hotel. The fish is well-packaged in multiple layers of paper, so Mr. Jones hides it between … Read more
The boss called one of his employees into the office. “Steve, “he said, “you’ve been with the company for a year. You started off as an office clerk, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four … Read more
A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss”. He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found … Read more
A drunk stumbled out the door of the bar. He stood on the corner waiting for the light. His wife calls and asks if he is drunk. The man replies, “Of course not!”. Being suspicious that he is drunk, she says, “Okay then, tell me where you are and I will come and get you. … Read more